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All of a sudden i feel that my life is beyond my control.
I hope i am just being paranoid.
I feel so helpless and foolish.
It is not about me anymore.
I am so afraid , Fionna.
Are you a christian? I replied:Â Â I am one. I believe in Him and i held his hands. My lord has never let me down ever since the day i left for China. I was the one who let him down all the time in spite of all he has done for me.He showed me the way once again this time round.
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We baked a Thousand Layer Cake! Well, it’s just the name of the cake – Kueh Lapis. The entire process is simple and easy to do, BUT … to replicate the correct effect, investment in a heavy duty mixing machine is a MUST. Hmm … so if I really want to bake it myself, I think currently cannot … oh well … maybe when I am desolate someday (touchwood!) then I might end up making cake for a living … -)
2 bad no have chance go try the famous Joo Chiat Black Pepper Crab with ya, next time around then maybe I got more koufu … or maybe God telling me to cut down on all the seafood cos already had crabs and prawns twice in a row liao …
Anyway, I found a place to hang the 2 little paintings you gave me … the paintings are nice, but I’m intrigued by you needing a “shi fu” to teach you how to paint like that … I thought it was just a form of expression and thus have no form or structure and so who do people teach that?
Oks, good that you are making full use of your precious holiday here … each day worth $80 hor … haha!
I’m sure this isn’t your most exciting valentine’s, neither is it your most romantic valentine’s … yet it’s the weirdest things that I have done on this day … baking brownies, eating pig organ’s soup, eating brownies with rum and raisin ice cream and drinking Riesling Ice Wine while you laughing over my old photographs. Yup, interestingly strange …
… and THANK YOU for the Bright Orange Pull-Over from C-Pix (Very bright and nice, orange was one of my favourite colours last time, long time never wear liao) and the lime green tie. That should be challenging to match for my shirt, but I shall see what goes with it. If not, go to the new “Dong Jia Du” to make more shirts, right? =)
Welcome back to Singapore! It’s quite hot in Singapore at the moment, vast difference in temperature from Shanghai, right? Ok, so take care, and don’t fall sick.
Good to see you again after … hmm … about 5 months … still the predictably unpredictable person … enjoy your short break here ah … though I think you will be out and about more often than not … but that’s part of relaxing and enjoying a short break from work too …
Anyway, hope all goes well with you and your family issue … I believe no matter what happens, things will eventually turn out right.
okie … with ur lack of internet connection in SG … also dunno when u will see this … hope u enjoyed the pineapple tarts (not nice must say also hor … then can improve) and ur dinner with the nice lotus root you like from wuhan. =)
This was the title of this evening’s church service. I like the message the Pastor preached, because it was just about a single truth, a very simple idea, but it means so much.
Surely goodness and love will follow me all the days of my life and I will dwell in the house of the Lord all the days of my life – Psalms 23:6
It’s like an affirmation that God is there all the time and He provides for me all the goodness and all the love. It seems somehow all part of God’s plan. Can’t runaway from it, cos’ if you do you end up right at the beginning again. Anyhow, I feel like I am waiting. Like I am waiting for the green light at a traffic junction. Even more, I feel like I am waiting for a GPS (Dear God) to pinpoint the destination and then I will be on my way.
Anyway, like you said, it’s a good time to rest and I would probably miss this time very much when I eventually start work.
p.s. I have officially completed the Pineapple Tarts. I must say the taste is not as per normal, but I think still OK. Sure got room for improvements, and I shall await yours and everyone else’s feedback.
I tried to access this website ..like i do everyday, at least once…and the miracle appears before me…
I started reading the blogs that i have missed out for 5 months..they were filled with blessings and uncertainty which i never hear over the phone whenever i am talking to you..never once did i realise you were so uncertain about your future…now i know..and i am sure you are getting on fine now with the healing on its way
Miracles can happen , if you pray for them and believe in Him, like this one.I need not wait for my trip back to read all the blessings you have wished for me while i am here.Â
I know what He has planned for me and i choose to let my dear Lord guide my way wherever i go or wherever i may be…the same goes to you
Thanks for the pineapple tarts ..i appreciate that and have promised my colleagues i will share with them when i am back…at the same time do some “marketing ” for you …
….No matter what decision you make at the end of the day, to be in Shanghai or anywhere…as long you are happy…i will be happy for you!
Sometimes we need to be in the dark to realise the preciousness of light…so take this “short” vacation as the time to learn (1) making pineapple tarts and (2)  “treasure your working life later on”…cheeers
Hi to your new apartment in Shanghai. I guess after living in that little cubicle down that dark alley for 6 months, it’s time to move on to greater heights (from level 5 to 11) and to greener pastures (no view window to with view Glass window) where you and your BBG can have a cozy and nice time. I can imagine the apartment from your description and from more vague memory of that place and I love to drop in on it soon. (Maybe, it might be sooner that I think, after all, my eyes are getting better.)
Anyway, was making pineapple tarts the whole of today. WOW! It’s a lot of work, especially the making of the pineapple paste. My arms are aching from the grating and my legs are aching from the standing and my back is aching from the bending over. 1st batch of tarts are a 1/2 success, cos’ there are too many of them which are a big too hard. The paste was machine made and commercially bought, hence the lower quality. I guess, practise makes perfect. By the time I use the real pineapple paste I made, I should be an expert. Haha!
k, I shall wait for you to come back then let you try. (or if really have to, then got to DHL over hor?)
Life is full of joy, the little things in life can bring your mood up. Life is also so full uncertainty. The best laid plans sometimes never come to fruition because of unexpected circumstances. Just like this little ‘extra’ growth in my head that is causing all these ‘circumstances’.
I remember you telling me that you did pray to God for guidance on many matters and one of which was whether I would be with you. In fact, I too asked God the same question, whether you would be the right one for me. So I got this eye problem initially and I was stubborn, I wished and prayed it away, but it never went away. Until almost 2 weeks after I could not let it rest anymore and decided that I had to get it checked. I was so torn between going to Shanghai then and going for the checkup. Eventually, logic and reason prevailed (Surprising that it did in such illogical and unreasoning state of mind). I had the check and it was this tumour that was causing all this problem. Just great!
At first was a little resigned to a bad fate when the doctors all informed me that I had to go through major surgery to get rid of the tumour and after which still had to go for radiation as follow up threatment to try to fully remove the tumour. Yet, when the blood test came back that I could be treated by medication I was elated. Perhaps, it was a 2nd chance. A glimmer of hope. I was hoping and praying that medication will take effects within weeks and then I would be fully recovered.
In effect, I was told that the effects of the medication took weeks to be seen, but it was a long term treatment that lasted usually 3 to 5 years and may even be for life, if my body continued to produce the cells after the drug is stopped. In any case, it was not a case where I can never leave the country to work, but more of the fact that waiting for the tumour to stablize and to finally be on less intensive observation would take anything between 6 months to 1 year.
I am at a cross roads again. Everything seems to have changed. The scenery is different and the people also seemed to have gone on by. It’s great seeing friends getting the jobs they wanted for so long and enjoying the job that they do. I’m envious and wonder when it will be my turn and even where will be my turn.
At the end of my lengthy message, I am very uncertain about being able to join you in Shanghai to work at least for the near future. Like I said, suddenly, I am a little unsure about what to do. I guess, I will think about it once my eye regains it’s proper vision. Till then I continue to seek for a God given direction.
Finally, no matter what happens, do know that I continue to wish the best for you, and give you my support in all the things that you do. It is important to me and is of great joy to me that you are happy doing what you do, happy living the way you do, and happy just the way you are.
Anyway, hope to see you back at Chinese New Year.
Applause!
(Burp!) Oops … where did that come from? … Full from a plate of nasi lemak from Adam Rd. =)
Congrats on your getting your training contract. It’s a great start to a brand new year. 2007! Startings usually are like trickles, a tad slow, but they gain momentum and soon there will be an even bigger win.
Can imagine the happiness and excitement when you close the deal. After 6 months of hard work and you constantly berating yourself, I’m sure you realize that these things take time and in time they will come. So, don’t be so hard on yourself. Enjoy your moment, but at the same time, as I’m sure you will, continue to strive for even bigger success.
Always waiting and happy to receive your good news!
X’mas came and went by, 2006 is drawing near and 2007 is about to begin with a bang. it’s sad and and i’m sorry that i cannot be in Shanghai to celebrate, to begin, my graduation, my new life, my ‘work’ etc … a minor hiccup in the form of a blurry vision stumped me this time. I shall overcome, with the power and grace of our dearest Lord, victory will come and it will be sweeter than anything we’ve ever tasted. thanks for the patience, concern and care you have given me … i know u prob can’t see this in China, but i just want to get it down, the feeling for the moment, before it goes away … Here’s wishin’ u all the best of wishes as the New Year comes. Sales target be broken, a great many lessons and experiences be learnt.
I have a long way to go, in terms, of learning and growing, but I shall get there … It’s nice to know that thru’ the journey I will definitely have a great friend there for me.
See you soon (literally)!!!
