The Impatient Tone

Bb,

I must write this down. I perceive your tone yesterday as very impatient with talking to me. I was upset. You said i brushed you aside. I did not hear you properly as the reception was slow.It’s the 2nd time you speak to me like this. The other day, i merely brush it aside as a joke and say you were fierce to me. This time round, i just felt hurt. I know i am very impatient , eager to speak my point of view, my tone do get very unfriendly most of the time when i want to make a point to you on something i firmly believe in, but i never meant any harm. If i make you upset, you must tell me. Yesterday, i realised how upsetting it can be when someone who loves you so much speak to you in an impatient tone. I never expect it from you.

But i forgive you and will not be angry anymore. I love you too much to be so angry with you for so long but i want you to remember, no matter who speaks to you/ me in this manner or if you/ me speak to anyone in this manner, i don’t care. But , we can learn to use a friendly tone to speak to one another in our relationship. I always think it’s a shame when people behave in a very nice manner to outsiders and treat people they love for granted. I do not want that to be part of my life, that’s why i am asking you to do so for me. I love u.

Fionna

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Trapped

I got on the lift. There were 6- 7 fat angmohs around me . They were all lift specialists. When the door closes, one of them blurted : “Not too sure if the lift will break down ; seems to be overweight.” ” The pressure would cause the lift to go downwards when it stops on the floor.”

Just as the lift reaches the level, it suddenly stopped and started moving downwards, as said by one of experts. In my mind, i was like ” Yah, with all the experts  around me and knowing this might happen, why do all of them have to squeeze in the lift @ the first place.” I started to call the lift breakdown number : ” Please send the lift breakdown rescue team , i am running out of breath, with 7 – 8 people trapped all inside.” ” We are at the extreme bottom.” Then i started looking upwards, Mission Impossible flashes across my mind..should i just remove the small cover of the lift , let the air gush in and then i can start climbing out via the elevator wires ?

I woke up…see bb..and i seems to have difficulty waking up…as usual..

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Man Of My Life

Bb,

I make you upset. You make me upset. We all make each other upset because of one word: Love.

Love Me, Hate Me But Don’t Ignore Me.

We are so madly in love that we fear being ignored at any time when we are together. I want to reassure you just like you reassure me at all times, i will not leave you. Please do not be mistaken of my insecurity of not having you here now as a reason to leave you. I can’t leave you at any point in time.I am more fearful than you can ever expect if you ever step away from my life. I just need you to reassure me when i feel upset. It’ s def not to threaten u, but to tell you how upset i get if you ever ignore me. I am just bad at telling u my feelings, so i choose to keep quiet and stay upset. After i am ok, then will i start pouring everything out. Just me, the women of the year …the woman of your life…Fionna Lee…BBe..BB..Little Pig…

I love you.

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Women of the Year

 

My wonderful bb!!!

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I with you, baby

Thank you baby for being with me. For calming me down … sometimes I get fidgety, tense with situations and I am glad that you are there for me and it makes me peaceful inside.

I love you, dear, and many times I want to be there … right there immediately … no more waiting … no 4 months … TQ for waiting for me, dear …

The concall with Elance and the developer went ok … but no resolution was reached … so we are going to arbitration. =(

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Baby I'm With U

Dear bb;

I want you to know that i will be with you no matter it’s a good day or bad day.I love you .I know you are a strong man; internalize a lot of your feelings @ work .Let our time together be a time you can let go and release all your feelings because that’s what i want you to do. Be who you really are when you are with me.I want to share more happy moments with you and quality time for us; for me to discover more about you and us.

God has granted me a wonderful day everyday since 04 August 2007, the day i begun my life with you, to have you love me, hold my  hand and walk with me  through the times of ups and down.

I love you and will stay by there, grumpy @ times too… to support you Edwin bb.

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Adrian's Proposal , U&Me

We were both out for holiday in the woods. Surprisely, a lot of  my JC gfs were there too for the reknown spa and their hulky service professionals. We saw Adrian and he kindly introduced us to his gf , sitting in front of him. We were invited to join in the table. I can’t recall her name. A tall, slim lady in black, short permed hair , but a great smile. That was when a group pf people started walking towards the table ( dining in the woods, under a big tree) ,Adrian announced his proposal and the lady agreed. I was stunned and so were you. That was when i congratulate him ; and he told me , She’s a good girl. Inside me, i felt strange; dunno why this feeling got over me, happiness tingled with sadness. I decided to leave the table early to take a rest in our villa room. You stayed over to chat with him.

The Villa Room

It was a resort for the exclusive members, a moment to be out in the woods. I love the flowers, they were all planted along the steps leading to the white villa. It was a 2 storey villa, with  a kitchen and a few bedrooms. My gfs were putting up in the rooms as well. As you were not back, i started going out to look at the flowers, and started to plant some flowers . I pulled the hose out, attempting to water the plants. I created a whole mess when the water started flooding the house as a result of a leakage along the water pipe. I started calling for the gardener and house maid and in a matter of minutes, they cleared up the mess. I was wondering why is my bb not bad.My gfs came into the villa and asked if i would like to join them for spa. I agreed. Inside the spa, we saw this tall, hulky, tanned service guy. He was cute and was carrying the towels. I decided to walk out to the pool place before the spa. I still have not got over the Adrian proposal shock and was waiting for you to come back. I woke up to see 2 missed calls on SKype.

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Christmas Candle,Straw Walkway & Monitor Lizard meat

Mum was not around, my brother was fantically looking around the house for a Christmas Candle to bring to the event. Amy suggested using a lamp and that’s when Ah Di ( the relative who did my hme econs pouch bag project for me) took out a long white candle and start carving. I could still remember the flower carvings at the base of the candle. It was beautiful.

Then I woke up sleeping beside a Japanese man.He’s cute looking , tan,hulky,soccer player but i don’t recall what his name was. He was a schoolmate from the States.We got drunk n feel asleep in grandma’s  place. I was woken by men talking loudly at the base of the home( you see the house is hanging in the air, like a tree-top home.Talking about the achi of the straw house, what i recall most is the long shoe-horse shaped straw walkway, hanging above the air , supported at the ends but it gets wobbly when u walk.I complaint to my aunties who were sitting along the walkway about the danger of the wobbliness.

Grandma was out to catch monitor lizard to sell the meat. She came back with a big catch for the day. I saw her killing the ML. Huge one!Then she was asking big auntie to esimate how many kgs was the slab of meat she has just sliced off ( holding the slab up by the tail  of the lizard before weighing), grandma says; my bet is 1 kg. Big aunt smile and say, no way. I trusted grandma, but i said otherwise. I think Grandma’s estimate is wrong. At the scale , it pointed exactly 1 kg. We all laughed.

I woke up.It was 4.40 am. I went to read bb’s blog and the cat is out of the bag , on the internet.

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Weird Dreams Book

Dear bb;

I am wondering why my mind is not resting @ night and i keep having wierd dreams almost from the moment i go to bed till i wake up.With your idea in mind,  decided to write my interesting dreams on this blog. At some point, i should consolidate them and see how i can link up all these dreams up and create a story.Who knows it may be hotter than Sex & The City.

I woke up to see Sand. I could feel and sense the impulsiveness in him as always whenever I  ask for a break-up . The anger within him as he stood there with his fist tightly clenched up. He did not know what to do. I did not know how to react to. But the strange thing was you were nonewhere to be seen. But i was sure, that i was with you and i will continue to be with you in spite of the fear Sand instill in me. He seems all ready to hit you and I am thinking how is my soft spoken dear going to react. My heart was ticking as i was worried what he will do when you come over to pick me up later. At that moment, i dunno why : The picture of  3 men which dated me before and now flashed across my face.Sand the big, hunky, impulsive , lack of self confident man.Adrian the achiever, strong headed , MCP and homely man. Edwin, the soft spoken, big dreams ,trustworthy , understanding and homely man. I heard the familiar Skype ring tone..i woke up , with the anger in Sand fresh in me.  Im happy to see your sleepy face again, lying there on the naughty bed in your house.

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Next step towards you

bb, approximately 4 months before the end of June 09. I am planning to go over to Shanghai to join you again. This time, however, the situation is different. We are both madly in love with each other and want to be together in Shanghai, to live and work together. 

This time around, I believe it would be a start of a lifelong journey with my dearest. It’s going to be an exciting journey, and also a fearful one for me. Thankfully, I have you and your encouragement all the way, and I know that I have the Lord’s blessings.

I’m looking forward to the day I join you, looking forward so much that, as I had mentioned, I am even thinking of what I should be packing. First things first, I should be preparing a list of local and overseas companies to target and step by step I will tackle them all.

Love you bb, have a wonderful week …

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